1. |
Being A Ghost Train
09:16
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There isn't one space in this waste land
where I am not over-encumbered by the mystery of the past:
not one road I haven't strode,
not one bridge I haven't torn apart,
one peak upon which I can at last
find some peace for this new transition;
another of life's chapters.
And instead I play the rapture of revelations
distorted, and long since cast away.
I'm rolling like a train on the rails you've pulled up,
no longer satiated at the table where I've supped.
You quote me "runneth over" but my cup fills by drought.
Why quest for diamonds when I've just enough coal to see my way out?
Gorged and complacent, the words are wasted at your hands.
Idle though they may be, you manage to hold sway
and cling to your sand.
Like food unattended, the wisdom you've extended
ho-hums its poison and churns in my stomach,
but I'll purge myself before I let it go to my head:
that one can only raise Lazarus after he is dead.
And I'm rolling like a train on the rails you've pulled up,
no longer satiated at the table where I've supped.
You quote me "runneth over" but my cup sees only drought.
Why quest for diamonds when I've just enough coal to burn my way out?
(ghost train)
I'm quietly biding my time as the clock marks another arrival,
reverberating the familiar rhetoric of our hometown revival.
Smiling and cussing, and discussing who will be in charge of more lite beer, as I plan my plot and plant my seeds, to be reaped in a plot far from here.
Because I'm rolling on the first train--the first one that pulls up,
longing to vacate this antique where I have supped.
Your time runneth over and the forecast beckons doubt.
I'll regain my quest for diamonds when my chest is relieved from the fly-ash you've turned out.
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2. |
The Descent of Pentagons
05:50
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As she moved, wrapped up in her cocoon of blue
and soaked through,
I was transcended to no end--
as lighting crashed and raindrops passed.
Joined in convergence, but not jointly,
just point me in the right direction
And what were my intentions?
In forbidden love, and suggestive sleep!
Submit to divine intervention:
the adoration found in the secrets that we keep.
This is the time when I lose my mind,
constantly preoccupied
with southern winds, and other hints
of majesty and inside...
Jokes and nuances are bones within these walls.
The bubbles and marbles were destroyed
you sad and silly boy,
Oh and I await and contemplate our past and future calls.
Well you will wait until tomorrow,
and I am left picking up the pieces of your sorrow.
Uno, dos, tres
I will explain the joy in the pain,
in the recent light of where I belong.
The sadness remains, but the balance is sustained
in the Descent of the Pentagons.
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3. |
When The Cattle Sleep
04:53
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Everybody has felt the sting of
a fairytale love story coming to an ending.
We all wonder where we went wrong.
Most of us don't know where to begin,
and some don't think they'll ever have it again.
Hell, any one of us could have written this song.
But about a year ago I fell victim
to my lack of ability to know how to pick 'em,
and my mother looked at me and said:
"Just keep your arms, eyes, heart, and mind wide open.
You've got to be persistent, and in your spirit, got to keep on hopin'
that of all the fish out in the sea, there is still one waiting just for me
to cast again and reel in a love far greater than anyone could dream."
Wander 'round the house all alone;
try and decide what to do with the time
you would have spend on the phone.
Ignore the guilt as you're standing by the trash can with another
pile of pictures in your hands of all your old plans
you say it's for the best, and try to understand
as all the feelings inside of you crash into each other.
But after a year or two your heart stops sinking
and you wonder to yourself "what the hell was I thinking?"
And just when you're clearing your head
You've got to keep your arms, eyes, heart, and mind wide open.
You've got to be persistent, and in your spirit, got to keep on hopin'
that of all the fish out in the sea, there is still one waiting just for me
to cast again and reel in a love far greater than anyone could dream.
But after a year or two your heart will be working just fine
and you'll find another chance will be lurking around
every corner for you to embrace, filled anew with a new kind of smile on your face. It's peaceful; trust me, peace will come to you at last,
and when it does, you'll find that happens all too fast.
Just keep your arms, eyes, heart, and mind wide open.
You've got to be persistent, and in your spirit, got to keep on hopin'
that of all the fish out in the sea, there is still one waiting just for me
to cast again and reel in a love far greater than anyone could dream.
Keep your arms wide open.
So go ahead and dream.
Keep your eyes wide open.
So go ahead and dream.
Keep your mind wide open.
So go ahead and dream.
Keep your heart wide open.
Go ahead and dream.
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4. |
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We're rolling down a river, and I ain't throwing you no lines.
You rocked your boat over; why should I pull you into mine?
Well I suggest you bail, and you learn how to swim!
'Cuz the chances of me bailin' you out are growing slim.
I'd rather go without a paddle than take up your oar.
Swim as fast as you are able fool, and head for yonder shore.
Now you're clamoring at the side of my vessel, but I don't know what for.
And come hell or high water, I won't see you anymore.
You boast about a giant, but I know the truth behind your boat.
You're supposedly indestructible, but constructed of things not meant to float.
You've capsized, and you realized it, and you have the audacity to confuse me and accuse me for your sinking,
but I didn't fill your ship to capacity--what the hell were you thinking?
Your ship needs a captain with whom it can go down.
You didn't bother with a preserver now, fool, so you deserve to drown!
Get your hands off the side of my vessel, 'cause I ain't gonna let you in.
And come hell or high water, I won't see you again.
You're taking on water.
You're taking on water.
You're taking on water.
But you ain't no martyr.
So if you're too big to fail, go ahead and sew yourself another sail.
Reap what you sew another sail.
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5. |
Powershift
05:00
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Breaking bones of lust and trust and love,
in fake fallen gusts of wind and rain,
and nervous pain that rusts around the saddened dust
and must be swept away to preserve the thrust.
I think I'm breaking a whole new rule:
I'm going through a powershift.
Give me something to kill the pain.
Let me know that I exist.
Spoken words were lost and cost more time
than fake fallen frost that saw the crime of power lines,
and tossed about the heavy cross, and caused a sea of pain
for moments paused.
Tangible and turquoise dreams
born of spite and boredom's lies
Transients in endocrine
Explode before my very eyes
Between pandas and picture frames and nuclear fission,
I want you to have all of these visions.
"I love you"? Who am I?!
I remember when happiness was poison!
You're crazy? Yeah....me too....
I think I'm breaking a whole new rule:
I'm going through a Powershift.
Give me something to kill the pain.
Let me know that I exist.
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6. |
Eric
04:18
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Hey man, I'm back in town.
Wondered if you'd like to hang out!
I know it's short notice, but I took the train.
I know you're busy with your girlfriend,
and I know you have to wake up early in the morning,
but it would be cool to just go cruising in this rain.
And out living the dream
as you're still kicking around on our home scene,
but I can remember when you and I were a team.
Well I'm successful, but I am a stranger wherever I roam.
You're working at Wal-Mart and still living at home.
But I know that we'll have fun just hanging out in your room,
talking about girls we like and playing video games
like we used to do every afternoon.
And I'm reliving our dreams,
as I sit in China and I listen to you scream
on the nu-metal album that we recorded back in high school,
when we were part of a team.
So a laugh, and a hug,
and then I'll move back to St. Louis.
And we know that next time will be good times
because no time can undo us.
My hair-do's gettin' shorter, your hair is getting longer.
We know we're out of order,
we know how we wronged her.
Yes, we know we're damn good.
And you know I'd never choose another,
because you are my long-lost brother from another mother.
You know I couldn't really do without you,
because I know so goddamn much about you.
Yes you're part of my team,
and I'm a part of your team.
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7. |
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Well the revolution happened, and I didn't take part.
I just stayed at home and tried to make art--
The ambivalent, ironic commentator,
constantly saying I'd join in later.
At the one rally I actually attended
nothing was posited, and less amended:
Free pizza the only real agenda item,
as homeless men ranted on ad infinitum.
I sometimes eat a Wendy's Spicy Chicken Sandwich,
and a portion of my taxes paid for the Iraq War.
I sometimes vote an entire political ticket
without really knowing what I'm voting for.
But the intersection of my (he)art and action is clear:
I get a little mental health when I ask myself:
"If you're not here to dance when the world is watching,
what are you here to do?
If you're not here to sing your heart out,
what are you here to do?
If you're not the one stoking the phoenix from the ashes,
what are you really doin'?
Every monument will crumble my friend,
even Everest will be a ruin."
Well I work 9 to 5 and my mind clocks out
as soon as the key is in the door.
And I night I steal my neighbor's internet
to watch reruns of the Colbert Report.
I consider writing off the shit that I eat,
and I complain about the pain in my feet,
I clock out at 11, wake up at 6, shower,
rinse and repeat.
I used to eat a Wendy's Spicy Chicken Sandwich,
and a portion of my taxes paid for the Iraq War.
I sometimes vote an entire political ticket
without really knowing what I'm voting for.
But the intersection of my (he)art and action is clear:
I get a little mental health when I ask myself:
"If you're not here to dance when the world is watching,
what are you here to do?
If you're not here to sing your heart out,
what are you here to do?
If you're not the one stoking the phoenix from the ashes,
what are you really doin'?
Every monument will crumble my friend,
even Everest will be a ruin."
"I don't know...you just want to go to Guitar Center?"
"Uhhhh, whatever. Fuck it."
"Well now! Put on your thick-rimmed glasses and your stupid mustache!"
I am already making a difference,
I know the world is not so old.
This generation is the snowball;
I won't act like my kids are already dead.
We can all do more than laugh.
These hands' work will not go unseen.
Deep in my heart I remember this feeling,
and I know what it means.
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8. |
My Last Goodbye
06:46
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You know it's been a while since we talked face to face.
And I wouldn't call and you wouldn't answer,
since we both were disgraced.
But I've been doing some drinking,
and a whole lot of thinking,
and it's time for you to go.
'Cause after all this time,
I just don't know where you are.
I hate to be the one to have to tell you: it ain't all how it seems.
And I know you thought that I could be the man of your dreams,
but you knew it wasn't right.
You should have put up your fight.
You know yourself you were wrong.
And after all this time,
that's why I wrote this song.
Farewell, farewell my long-lost lady.
You know I don't even have to say why.
Just fare well, fare well my pretty baby.
You can consider this my last goodbye.
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9. |
Show Me How To Dance
03:42
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Well could I have your attention
maybe just for this afternoon
'cause I've got some things I want to show you
that will make us light up the room
so get out of your seat
and up on your feet
and sway to this beat,
because we don't have anywhere else to go.
And you that it's good
and you know that you would,
if you thought that you had a chance,
so come on and stand up next to me girl,
and let me see how you dance.
You've got me in this suspension
as I'm watching you swoon.
Just as I think I'm getting to know you,
you lower the lights in the room.
And you stand in front of me
and I can see that
we don't have anywhere else to go.
And the dim lowered room light fades into the moonlight
as you're slowly slipping into a trance,
so come on and sit down next to me girl,
and let me see how you dance.
(pretty sweet guitar solo)
And your knees are gettin' weak,
I'll kiss more than your cheek,
and then you pull back the sheets darling,
Oh baby, just tell me where else you want me to go.
And it's getting too hot, and you like it a lot
as you're pulling at the pockets on my pants,
so come on and lay down next to me girl,
because tonight we're gonna dance.
And I'll show you romance,
as I'm using my hands (for a backrub!),
I'll even put on the fan,
because tonight we're gonna dance.
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10. |
You Are My Heart
04:24
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As we set mischief to the streets,
and we're running wild,
I look in your eyes and I see the face
of our future child,
And I know
You are my heart.
In this vortex we call home,
we will work this out.
There is more to you and me
and what we are about
And I know,
Because you are my heart.
We're both standing here,
looking at each other.
We're not smiling, just--as aforementioned--standing
and looking.
From where I'm standing,
you're looking good.
All I want to do is hold you.
I want to feel your hair pressed against my chest.
Many times I have told you:
It's WHO we are, not WHAT. Everyone can forget all the rest.
You'd take a picture
just to document our unusual looks,
and I a recording,
for the footnotes of future books....
I cannot wait 'til you come home
when you get off work.
I will pick you up and spin you around
and we will go berserk.
And I know,
Because you are my heart.
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11. |
Beautiful Brown Eyes
05:29
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When you're away
I am somewhere scheming
to bring you closer to my left hand.
It's bitter, but it's good.
And still you wait
for me to come back home
from my business trip
to Chicago.
And I'll only ask for everything
when I look into your beautiful brown eyes.
When you're awake
I am lightly dreaming
of the ones I have chosen
to let fall from my hands.
Would I go back if I could?
I'll call it fate
when you come back home
from your family trip
in Chicago.
I'll offer you everything everything
when you look into my dutiful brown eyes.
And as we wait,
boiling water teeming,
time feels frozen
as I hold your hand.
We wonder if we should
Give it a break
And just go back home
and postpone our trip
to Chicago.
and wonder about everything
as we wipe away our beautiful brown eyes.
Just you wait.
We will make our home.
And we don't need that shit
about Chicago.
We'll have everything
if we look into one another's brown eyes.
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12. |
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I am a sad man today
as your father screams through his breathing tubes
we keep twisting on our Rubik's cube,
but neither of us is Chris Gardner.
We knew we would have it no other way,
we knew exactly what they would say,
what kind of daughter they wanted,
and what they would do to harden her.
I'll just keep playing my guitar, and I'll just keep on dancing,
assuming everything is fine
until everything is fine
and the wait is over,
and lifted from our shoulders.
I will pull you to my chest, and you will be mine.
Th albatross has come cascading from my neck
I do believe that God's dust speck has finally given me a sign.
I'm well aware that the distance of this earthly trek is far,
far too far, to allow my perception to be re-aligned.
I'll just keep playing my guitar
I'll just keep on dancing
assuming everything is fine
until everything is fine
until the weight is over
and lifted from our shoulders.
I will pull you to my chest, and you will be mine.
Well I hope you're no longer hating me,
even though you're no longer dating me,
but I had to leave behind my beautiful, good-news girl.
And I hope you don't resent me,
but you chose not to present me
to the ones who brought you into this world.
We'll treat it like a pact
against much less than fact,
and we'll just act
as if there's nothing wrong until you leave.
I remember the pain that we felt
in the place where we both knelt;
I still have the bruises on my knees.
I'll just keep playing my guitar, and I'll just keep on dancing,
assuming everything is fine
until everything is fine.
The wait is over
and lifted from our shoulders.
I will pull you to my chest, you will be mine.
You will be mine.
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13. |
8 Minutes to 11:30
04:40
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Honestly, memory doesn't serve:
Is the sun still shining?
Love deserted, but what deserved,
given this shell confining?
Energies bound by waves
are still subject to decay,
much like the semiotic pertinence
of what we say.
But I've recognized the earths in your eyes
and the time that it takes for the clouds in their skies
to illuminate and fill up with light:
sundown's beauty manifest on the horizon.
Interference. Out of phase;
noise generate in sun spots.
Distortions in the definitions of the raes
tempers solar-flare and run hot.
It was blinding, I was blinded:
The consequence of an upward stare.
But 8 minutes would go unwinding before I realized
the sun was no longer there.
And I've realized that you were surprised
and taken aback by my quick replies
based on the fact that I'd misjudged the size,
the danger in trusting the brain the eye relies on.
But light has many hidden properties...
the least of which is time dilation:
The case in which one who hasn't quite caught up to speed
takes much longer to experience the same sensation.
T = t / [1 - (v^2)/(c^2)]^(1/2)
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14. |
At A Loss
05:02
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It's 2:00 am, and I just read your letter.
We spoke of importance, and now I finally agree.
But I must admit, I thought of not opening it.
I thought of saving it for a time
when its content wouldn't kill me
or excite and thrill me,
and drill me with inquiries derived from my insecurities.
Things are going well.
Quite well, actually.
Things are going well.
I initially looked at it like an ending;
no metaphors or analogies.
But between the unknown variables,
the future, and myself)
I've come to realize that real ties may never have existed
between you and me.
And two or three times I've wanted you again--
I'm at a loss for where this all begins.
But it all makes sense.
It all adds up in the end.
It all makes sense.
Well that's one more thing that I don't have to worry about, I guess.
It's one more thing that I don't have to see.
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15. |
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Well I walk into the room and I feel so diminished.
Could you ever just get one goddamn job finished?
My boss plays solitaire on his computer,
and the secretary makes spelling errors
that make me want to execute her.
The hometown hero, and the local legend.
Mark it zero! You think I'm fuckin' around!?!?
And I sit down at my desk and I feel so depleted.
Could you ever just get one project completed?
I walk a fine line of complaining of fragility
and working hard to establish some sustainability.
A higher calling, and a noble ascetic.
Quality work forced through a faulty work ethic.
And I am just wasting time, waiting for the next opportunity to arrive.
I am just wasting time, waiting for the next opportunity to arise.
I am just wasting time, waiting for the next opportunity to come by.
So come by.
Arise now,
and come by.
Bye bye.
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16. |
The Place To Be*
04:33
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Roll me a cigarette,
and pour me a beer.
It ain't time to leave yet,
and I like it here!
And if you tell me
that you're going home,
well don't worry about me,
I'll be fine on my own.
It's been a hard, long week and full of chores,
I need to have a drink and maybe a few more!
Wind down the end of my day,
and just pick up my guitar and play.
Cuz it's been a while since I got loose,
and I'm gonna have myself some fermented grape juice
and let come what may,
and then I'll look at you and say:
Roll me a cigarette,
and pour me a beer.
It ain't time to leave yet,
and I like it here!
And if you tell me
that you're going home,
well don't worry about me,
I'll be fine on my own.
Well this place here is the place to be,
and the people and atmosphere are perfect for me.
It's not crazy but it's not quiet,
and the folks I'm meeting are a riot!
So go ahead and push up on the throttle
and order us up another round of bottles
and then we'll sit here and we'll both eye it,
and then I'll look at you and you say "try it",
and I say, "alright man, but first!..."
Roll me a cigarette,
and pour me a beer.
It ain't time to leave yet,
and I like it here!
And if you tell me
it's time to go home,
well don't worry about me,
I'll be fine on my own.
And you can call me high society,
but a little cultural variety never hurt anyone any how!
Well let's make sure that we get an ample
cross section of the things we sampled
before the proprietor ushers us out!
Politics and books debated,
and we have a driver designated,
and it's been a fun night without a doubt!
You pick your things up and you're ready to leave
I'm gonna grab you there by your sleeve,
and all at once I'll look at you and shout:
Pour me a cigarette,
and roll me a beer!
Is it time to leave yet?
What the hell are we still doing here?
And please just tell me
it's time to go home...
On second thought,
Don't worry about me, I'll be fine on my own!
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Tornado Head Kansas City, Missouri
Joshua And The Ruins is a jazz-folk project from the Midwest. The material spans amorous, political, and introspective
themes, delivered in a mix of different styles since 2008.
Formerly known as "The Everest Ruin" and "Tornado Head", the project is home to a variety of works by composer and singer-songwriter Joshua King. The current lineup features Frank Smith on drums and Evan Barwick on bass.
... more
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